Rich Role’s Mucho Cilantro Guacamole

If you are like me and believe that avocados are proof that the universe loves us, then you’ll enjoy this groovy take on guacamole.  However, if you’re one of those people who thinks that cilantro tastes like soap, then you might as well walk to your bathroom sink, grab your toothbrush, a bar of Irish Spring, and start brushing your teeth because this is going to get soapy.


  • 1 large bunch of cilantro (between 1 and 2 cups packed cilantro)
  • 3 ripe avocados
  • 2 limes, juiced
  • 1 clove garlic
  • 1 jalapeno
  • 1 small red or sweet white onion
  • 10 cherry tomatoes
  • ¼ tsp cumin
  • Salt and pepper


In a blender add the cilantro, lime juice, garlic, ¼ of the onion, salt, pepper, cumin, and the jalapeno.  Use the whole jalapeno, minus the stem on the top, for the most flavor.   Blend the mixture until it is a smooth, slightly runny paste.

If you are a guacamole purist and believe that garlic doesn’t belong in guacamole, then I respect your opinion.  I am a swimming purist and believe that only speedos – or budgy smugglers, for our friends down under – belong in the pool.

Go easy on the cumin.  It is easy to add a little too much cumin and overpower the guac.  If you have ever added that extra few spoon fills of energy drink powder in your cycling bottle, then you know what seems like a good idea at the time, will end up being a nauseous feeling half way into your ride.

Slice the avocados in half, remove the pits, and slice the inside of the avocado into ¼ inch squares.  Spoon out the avocado squares into a large bowl.  Next, pour the cilantro paste goodness over the avocado.  Mix the cilantro and avocado until you have your desired consistency.

Why should triathletes eat more cilantro if they only like the taste, but don’t love it?  Well, it is an inexpensive insurance policy against the oxidative stress that we put our bodies through when constantly refreshing the notifications on our phones after posting that “epic” training session selfie.  Finally, toss in rest of the chopped-up onion and halved tomatoes.  Voila, now you have a guacamole with a healthy dose of delicious and nutritious cilantro in every bite.

I haven’t published a cookbook, but I do have a Twitter account with jokes about vegetables.

You should check out this completely unfunny – but probably more useful – cookbook by some guy named @richroll, The PlantPower Way.

Follow the hilarious “Rich Role” on twitter. 

About the Author

I am not @richroll, but rather a slightly reckless & goofier parody version of the paradigm-busting, plant-eating, health-advocating endurance athlete. Follow me on twitter