I’m pissed!! The outrage, the disgust, the horror!! 122.6 miles is not what I was promised. My man card could be revoked. Seriously, the other triathletes might laugh at me when I claim that 2016 IMTX was my second full distance race. (notice I refuse to even use their silly trademarked name) So, that was my brain 4 days ago when WTC officially announced that the bike course for Texas will be 18 miles short.
Then I had some time to calm down. I started to sort through these feelings of hatred and anger. Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing, I thought to myself. Texas is known to be a hot and humid race. Hell, I had to walk the second loop of the run course in Mont Tremblant last year. Maybe the shortened bike course will actually help me run a decent (for me) marathon. This could be a sign from above, divine intervention. See, I always knew the world revolved around me, now I have proof. Yes, this is a good thing, I approve. But wait, what about that silly trademarked name, will Mike Reilly still call me an IRON….. wait, no he can’t, can he. It’s short, oh lord what have I done to deserve your wrath? It’s short!!! (#TWSS) 122.6 is not 140.6 The magic number will not be reached. Maybe if I ride 18 miles on the trainer before or after the race. Would that count? Oh no, I must remain strong, FOCUS! Don’t let this ruin your race. You’ve put in the training, you’re ready! Don’t let them tempt you with their talk of transfers. You can do this! (my Dr. says I have obsessive compulsive disorder with narcissistic tendencies, but enough about him, this is about me!)
Then I though to myself, wait, wasn’t Mont Tremblant a little short on the bike as well? I scrambled for my Strava account. NOOOOOOOO!!!!! There it was for all the world to see 2015 IMMT: 2.5 mile swim (I like to follow the ring of kayaks, not the buoys), 26.2 mile run (perfect tangents), and 110.1 mile bike. 138.8 miles WTC has failed me again, but wait there was no outrage last year in Quebec. No questioning the race distance. No hand wringing or apologizing, or last minute transfer offers. Just this, the reason they suckered me back in for more:
That’s all I need, just for Mike to coo into my ear those magic words, those words that help me get up in the morning to face this cruel cruel world. I AM AN IRON….. ah fuck what was it he said? Something cool, really catchy, rhymes with sirenman. Just 10 more days and he will say it to me again. This time I promise not to forget.
What’s my point? Well, to start shit on the forum, mostly. This week’s poll: After IMTX, will I be two times awesome or two times a fraud? Check out the poll and vote! TRS Triathlon wants to know.