Another Ironman Survey about Women

Screenshot 2015-03-19 21Given the 100% overwhelming success of the recent “Women for Triathlon” survey sent out last week, I thought I’d follow up with another round of questions. Why? Because I’m a fucking leader and leaders fuckin’ lead.

There are a few other reasons as well. First of all, people love to answer survey questions. That’s not my opinion – that’s science. Second, I like to get a LOT of feedback before I make simple decisions. Once, I asked 30 people if I should make a sandwich. They all agreed that I should, so I did.  Finally, I think it will help me look strong if this appears to be my decision based on survey questions. Otherwise, people might think that I caved to pressure applied by a bunch of loudmouth broads on twitter.

Anyway, thank you for taking the time to answer my questions and I look forward to making my decision sometime in the next few months. Well, maybe not the next few months, but hopefully by October.

I hope you enjoy these questions. I wrote them myself.

Survey Questions

1. Do female professional triathletes promote triathlon related products as well as men?

2. When women menstruate, the scent attracts bears. Does having pro women at races where there are bears nearby affect your decision to sign up tor that race?

3. Historically, women are terrific at scrubbing potatoes and cleaning the kitchen, but when it comes to triathlon, they’re not as fast as men. What is your annual salary?

4. How does having pro women at a race affect your wait time for the port-o-johns on race morning?

5. After women in the United States were given the right to vote, we experienced the Great Depression. How many races will you participate in this year?

6. Women act, dress, and look like hairy fat pigs, but get angry when they can’t find a man. How much does cost affect your decision to race a triathlon?

7. The female-supremacist hate movement called ‘feminism’ must be exposed to the disinfecting sunlight of  WTC’s gaze. How much does the Ironman brand matter when choosing a triathlon?

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