A Weekend of Short Course (In Verse)

The NYC tri
Was at risk of disruption,
Life Time Tri’s gone belly up
Like the fish in the Hudson.

But the pros lined up
For one more crack at some money,
And a swan-dive swim start
That looks really funny.

Ben Collins held off
The challenge from Cam Dye,
Jesse Thomas took 3rd –
His aviators did fly.

Alicia Kaye swam the fastest
And held on for the win,
Lauren Goss and Sheedy-Ryan
Followed her in.

Jason Pedersen tweeted
He was keeping things clean,
Took him longer to pee
Than he’d ever foreseen.



WTS Hamburg
Was the Jorgensen show,
Though she was nearly run down
With Vicky Holland in tow.

Sarah True chased Non Stanford
In a battle for third,
But Stanford kicked it in
To have the last word.

Most had money on Gomez
But Vincent Luis surprised –
The last 300m
Sent him home with first prize.

‘Twas the first victory for France
In a WTS race,
Though Gomez’s overall #1
It failed to displace.

Tommy Zafares took 24th
After following the plan,
But have you heard his jokes?
He’s a funny man.

Mixed Relay World Champs
Took place the next day,
Though many stars took a break
With Rio test event weeks away.
Wet conditions, late-game changes
Made for an exciting place,
Where each mixed-gender team
Would complete a mini-race.
Vincent Luis again
Took the French to the top,
Australia, Britain went 2-3
After Germany flopped.


Official Results for those who like numbers better than verse:

WTS Hamburg
1. Vincent Luis FRA 51:54 1. Gwen Jorgensen USA 57:08
2. Javier Gomez Noya ESP 51:58 2. Vicky Holand GBR 57:13
3. Mario Mola ESP 52:20 3. Non Stanford GBR 57:24
4. Dorian Coninx FRA 52:30 4. Sarah True USA 57:25
5. Aaron Royle AUS 52:37 5. Rachel Klamer NED 57:38
Panasonic NYC Triathlon
1. Ben Collins USA 1:44:59 1. Alicia Kaye USA 1:58:25
2. Cameron Dye USA 1:45:30 2. Lauren Goss USA 2:01:09
3. Jesse Thomas USA 1:47:34 3. Felicity Sheedy-Ryan AUS 2:04:19
4. Jason Pedersen USA 1:47:55 4. Laurel Wassner USA 2:06:08
5. Rudy Von Berg USA 1:49:15 5. Heather Lendway USA 2:06:26
Hamburg ITU Mixed Relay World Championships
1. Team France 1:20:33
2. Team Australia 1:20:42
3. Team Great Britain 1:20:52
4. Team Germany 1:21:00
5. Team Russia 1:21:51
6. Team Hungary 1:21:59
7. Team United States 1:22:05
8. Team Spain 1:22:12
9. Team New Zealand 1:22:18
10. Team Denmark 1:22:30

About the Author

Adrienne Taren
Adrienne is a MD/PhD in Neuroscience researching stress, your brain & the neuroscience of mindfulness training. She is also a fairly decent triathlete/runner/writer and an average ultra-distance swimmer, if there is such a thing. Visit her blog: http://www.adriennetaren.com/. Follow @SeeSpondyRun